


"we're not warriors, Aws."

by like_your_territory



Series: gawsten oneshots [2]
Category: Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Withdrawal, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Comfort/Angst, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Fluff and Angst, Gawsten, It gets fluffy I promise, M/M, awsten helps him get his shit together, basically geoff is a total alcoholic, mentioned panic attacks, probably my favourite thing i've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25542235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/like_your_territory/pseuds/like_your_territory
Summary: inspired by the lyric "there's nothing in my system so i'm feeling what i feel for you" from not warriors. originally posted on wattpad 02/24/2020
Relationships: Awsten Knight & Geoff Wigington, Awsten Knight/Geoff Wigington
Series: gawsten oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1850797
Kudos: 10





	"we're not warriors, Aws."

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the lyric "there's nothing in my system so i'm feeling what i feel for you" from not warriors. originally posted on wattpad 02/24/2020

Geoff didn't understand what he did to deserve Awsten.

He was an alcoholic living paycheque to paycheque, barely able to cover rent every month when they met.

Somehow, Awsten fell in love with him and put up with his shit. Geoff didn't think he'd be able to do that for anyone, especially not himself. He didn't feel worth it.

Awsten never agreed with that.

And honestly? Geoff was starting to think that maybe he was worth it, because if there were two things the younger boy hated, it was alcohol and vomiting. Yet, here he was, holding Geoff's hair back while he puked his fucking guts up after he'd drank himself into oblivion, not seeming to mind.

"Here," Awsten said softly, grabbing a water bottle off of the counter when Geoff moved to sit up, "drink some water, okay?"

Geoff nodded and took the bottle, downing a little less than half of it in one go. "If I'm good for fifteen minutes, we should be able to get to sleep."

Awsten gave him a look. "Um, no, not gonna happen. You're going to sleep, but I'm staying up to make sure you're okay."

"I've been doing this exact shit for more than three years, I'll be fine."

Awsten didn't seem particularly satisfied with that answer but didn't argue. Geoff figured he didn't have the energy. It was only maybe twelve in the morning, but to Awsten, it felt more like three.

Geoff sighed and leaned against the bathroom wall. "Now I want another drink."

Awsten shoved the water bottle back into his hands. "There you go."

Geoff rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"No shit," Awsten shot back, "but you have to call it quits, at least for tonight. I'm not taking you to the emergency room for alcohol poisoning at one in the morning."

"But you would."

"If I needed to, yeah, but if I can prevent it I will."

Geoff let his head rest on Awsten's shoulder. "How did this even happen? You're so far out of my league it's not even funny."

"Bullshit," Awsten said. "I'm the sad guy that wears baggy sweaters in June and hangs out in coffee shops that stay open too late."

"So what?"

Awsten didn't answer. He just played with Geoff's hair.

"Do you think you're ever gonna stop?" Awsten asked after a while.

"Stop what? The booze? Honestly, I think it's gonna kill me. And I'm okay with that."

The mood in the small bathroom completely shifted.

Awsten pulled Geoff into a hug and took a deep breath, tears welling up in his eyes. "Geoff, no..."

"Drunk is my sober at this point. I don't know how to stop-"

"I'll help you stop," Awsten told him, barely able to get the words out. "I'll help you stop, okay? I wanna see you sober and happy about it, _please._ I don't want you to need to be drunk to feel okay."

Geoff sighed, hugging Awsten back. "If it means that much to you, I'll try to get better. I don't wanna make any promises if I don't think I can keep them."

"That's fine," Awsten told him, "I don't expect you to promise me anything." He pulled away, grabbing Geoff's shoulders, looking him dead in the eyes. "But we _have_ to try, okay? We have to try. You're not just on your own, Geoff, I swear to god I'll be with you every step of the way. We just have to try."

Geoff smiled, just barely. "Let's talk more about this tomorrow, I think I'm gonna pass out."

✧•✧•✧

"Y'know what scares me?"

Awsten looked up from his phone. "Hm?"

It had been a few days since the whole "you need to get sober," conversation, and so far, they hadn't made all that much progress. Sure, they'd gotten rid of at least half of the alcohol in the apartment, but Geoff was still drinking just as much as before.

"What if when I finally get sober, we just... don't work anymore? What if I just hate you? 'Cause, of course, I don't _wanna_ hate you, but... what if I just do?"

Awsten went quiet for a while before speaking up. "Then... I guess we'll break up. I... I'd understand if that's what you wanted to do. We'll just have to see what happens."

Geoff stared at the half-empty beer bottle in his hand. "I don't wanna drink the rest of this."

Awsten looked at him, a slight expression of excitement present on his face. "Do you wanna pour it out?"

"Yeah, let's do that."

Awsten smiled and hopped up off the couch, Geoff not far behind, but much less enthusiastic. They stood in front of the sink in the tiny kitchen of their apartment for a few seconds before Geoff dumped the beer out, watching it go down the drain.

It almost physically hurt to watch.

He sighed and set down the bottle on the counter, feeling sick; whether from the alcohol or the realisation of how bad things had truly gotten, he didn't know.

"I'm ready to stop," he said shakily. "I- I don't wanna rely on this shit anymore."

"Hey," Awsten mumbled, "it's okay, you're not gonna have to, okay? We're gonna work on getting you sober." He took Geoff's hand in his. "Together."

Geoff took a deep breath and nodded. This wasn't gonna be easy.

✧•✧•✧

Geoff hadn't realised how bad withdrawals actually were. He was four days in, and both him and Awsten were just hoping that symptoms would let up within the next twenty-four hours or so.

It was about as difficult as expected. What he hadn't been prepared for was the irrational anxiety that Awsten was going to leave him and never come back.

It was bad, too. It had gotten to the point where Geoff had to be physically touching him to avoid having a panic attack, which led to their current position; Geoff cuddling Awsten the same way a scared child would cuddle a teddy bear. Of course, Awsten was more than happy to say yes when Geoff suggested they watch a movie or something. He'd actually fallen asleep maybe a half-hour ago, leaving Geoff with the feeling of the younger boy's breath against his neck as the only thing keeping him grounded.

Geoff had slept maybe four hours total in the past three days. It was mostly when Awsten was asleep as well, but the slightest movement would wake Geoff up and nearly send him into a panic attack. The whole thing was rough on both of them, especially considering the fact that Awsten was _not_ the type of person to stay up until ungodly hours of the early morning just for the hell of it.

"Geoff," Awsten whispered, yanking him out of his thoughts, "I'm cold..."

Geoff sighed grabbed a nearby blanket, draping it over Awsten. He tried to ignore the way his hands were shaking. The younger boy huddled closer, grabbing onto the front of Geoff's shirt.

Awsten went back to sleep, and Geoff decided he might as well try to do the same.

His mind fought against it, but as soon as he closed his eyes, his entire body relaxed, and within minutes, he was asleep. He didn't wake up for no reason, either. He was out for a while, maybe three hours; a lot, considering the events of the last week or so.

Awsten woke him up around one in the afternoon, getting up to go grab water. Geoff followed him into the kitchen, holding his hand tightly.

"You're still shaky," Awsten remarked as he grabbed a mug from a cabinet. He moved to the sink and quickly filled the cup with water.

"I know."

Awsten sighed and set the mug on the counter, turned to Geoff, and hugged him tightly. Geoff hugged back.

They just stayed like that; holding onto each other in the kitchen of the shitty apartment they could barely afford, forgetting about the world around them.

✧•✧•✧

Day seven.

One week without alcohol.

For the first time in three years, Geoff woke up and didn't feel like shit. He didn't have a killer hangover. He didn't feel the need to go grab a drink. The urge was still there, of course, but it didn't feel like a necessity.

He glanced over Awsten, admiring how peaceful he looked when he was asleep. Geoff brushed a bit of his bleach blonde hair out of his face, melting at the way Awsten smiled ever so slightly.

"Good morning," he mumbled, clearly still half asleep.

"Morning," Geoff replied, playing with Awsten's hair.

"How'd you sleep?" Awsten asked.

"Better than I have in a while."

"That's good." Awsten sighed, finally opening his eyes. "Do you know what time it is?"

Geoff reached over to his nightstand and grabbed his phone, clicking the power button to turn on the screen. "About six-thirty in the morning."

"We should find a way onto the roof and watch the sunrise," Awsten suggested, sitting up and stretching, earning a few satisfying cracks and pops from his joints. He then grabbed his glasses, putting them on. "You down?"

Geoff smiled. "Hell yeah."

Awsten smiled back and stood up, grabbing a sweater off the floor while Geoff took his time in easing out of bed. Awsten grabbed a blanket from their closet and tossed it to Geoff, along with a hoodie.

Even in Houston, it could get pretty cold at night in November.

As soon as Geoff had tugged on the hoodie, Awsten was dragging him out of their apartment and down the hallway with way more energy than anyone should ever have at six-thirty in the morning.

Eventually they made it to the staircase Awsten was looking for, and ten or so flights of stairs later, they were on the rooftop, just in time.

Geoff wrapped the blanket around his and Awsten's shoulders, who was already staring up at the sky intensely.

Geoff didn't really care about the sunrise, all the warm colours Awsten was infatuated with. He was entirely focused on the aforementioned blonde, studying his face.

He never got to properly appreciate everything about Awsten prior to then, being too drunk or caught up in withdrawals to think about anything else.

It was that moment when Geoff realised he was truly, honestly, hopelessly in love with Awsten, and he had no intention of trying to resist it. He smiled and wrapped an arm around Awsten's waist, pulling him closer.

"Awsten?"

He looked away from the sky, up at Geoff. "Hm?"

Geoff leaned down and kissed him.

It felt perfect.

It was slow and sweet, refreshing even. Awsten's hands found their way to the back of Geoff's neck, whereas Geoff's were on Awsten's hips.

They kept it short, Awsten giggling as Geoff broke away, cheeks flushed.

"I'm so fucking happy," Geoff mumbled, pulling Awsten into a hug. "And it's crazy, 'cause there's nothing in my system, which means I'm feeling what I feel for you. And listen."

Geoff pulled away just enough to look Awsten in the eyes.

"We're not warriors, Aws, but after this, I think we're pretty damn close. We've still got shit to work out, but we'll get through it, okay? I promise."

"I love you," Awsten whispered, leaning into Geoff's shoulder to hide the fact that he was totally gonna cry over this.

"I love you too," Geoff whispered back, "and honestly, I think you saved my life."


End file.
